What to write, when you're empty inside
Everything worn out
Nothing reads right
I feel like I've said all I can say, aloud
Written in words
Written in schemes
Written in feeling
Written in nothing

I could write about him
Her
You
Your mother
My past/present/future
Why bother?

I'd hate to admit
That I'm wanting some chaos
Something to freak me
Something to cause a mess
Pain is bliss
Bliss is a fucked up word to use
But "The word was a word and what a wonderful word it was"
I've last track of where I was going, if going is where I was.....

I feel so damaged and cracked up
Like all I can do is go down, 'cause I'm fucked up
Nothing I do is ever enough, it's not enough
To get ahead
To get approval
I can't even think about my own suicide
Because someone else is hurting
And hurting someone else is selfish
And being selfish isn't cool
Everyone has to either hate everything and love nothing
Or give and never receive all they have endlessly
Just doesn't make sense to me

And this taste in my mouth is getting old
I don't like orange flavored water
If I had money, I'd get something crisper.. and cold

How do you break a mold?
Of people made for years
I'm in a rut of habits
I'm falling into a line of rejects
And I have nothing to show for the 18 years I've existed
But I still think I'm the shit

I don't understand how I can have no love for myself
But still hold myself higher then certain people
Maybe it's the choices I use to aid something or another
Another goes with mother and smother... and hover...

My head hurts.
I need some Advil
They paid me three dollars to write that.